Why We Need to Tune Into our 3rd Brain

I was not consciously aware that I was living in such a thought trance. And, I am discovering I was not even consciously differentiating what is a thought, an emotion, or intuition/body response while I am experiencing them. In fact, I have had an unexpressed belief that we have just thoughts and emotions, and have never considered intuition/gut sense in this dimension. Still shocking to see how disconnected we can be with it, but not surprising.

Despite our innate nature, we are taught and conditioned to disproportionately use our heads in our whole life. And unfortunately, our thought system is usually wired in an ego-centric way, i.e we think things that happen to us are because of us. All of our thought patterns, conclusions are “me” centric: -” I should not have said this”, “why is this person behaving this way, did I do something wrong?”, “If I don’t call him now, will it hurt our relationship?”, “If I say no, would I look high-maintenance?”… All these assume we/things we do are the primary reason for everything happening in our lives. According to Gabor Mate this is a result of a childhood survival adaptation: -for a child, it is safer to assume that there is something wrong with himself than acknowledging something is wrong in their environment. But this thinking is a catalyst to inhibit our authentic selves. As a result of this continued pattern, we start folding ourselves and get distant from our authentic selves throughout this thought-trance. It probably took me ages to discover that more than 90% of the times responses we get from people or things, the natural flow of occasions have absolutely ZERO things to do with us. Better late than never, it has been such a liberating discovery!

Okay, very liberating to recognize these ego-centric thinking patterns and our personalization tendencies. But how do we change after this initial awareness stage, how to create a healthy balance within our core 3 systems?

I think the ‘logical’ first step is starting from understanding the role of each of these 3 systems and recognizing where we may have the imbalance. For example, my discovery has been the fact that I had been way too disconnected from my intuition. It was always there but I was mostly second-guessing it with my thoughts and emotions.


Heart: this is where we sense the world through emotions. One absurd thing we often do is trying to justify, validate/invalidate our emotions. But the point is what feel is what we feel, -period. They do not need any justification, they are always valid. We just need to accept and observe them without obsessing. And remember they are temporary, no matter how persistent they may feel at the moment.

Head: a lot of us are enmeshed with our thoughts. But as they always say -we are not our thoughts but the ones observing them.

Also, we usually overestimate the objectivity of our thinking as if our thinking was not full of confirmation bias. As it is beautifully stated in one of my favorite quotes from Daniel Kahneman: “ We think, each of us, that we’re much more rational than we are. And we think that we make our decisions because we have good reasons to make them. Even when it’s the other way around. We believe in the reasons because we’ve already made the decision.” I know, for me, when my emotions take over, I rationalize my emotional choice as if I had taken them with solid thinking exercise.

Gut/ intuition: I am realizing that I have let my thinking and emotions overwrite it for the majority of my life. And retrospectively, I am seeing that this sense was always there and right while I was too busy second-guessing it. And reconnection with my intuition, my core sense of self has only been possible when I could learn to stand still and slow down. The ability to see that I have been living my whole life in a race, in a rush, in an unexplainable productivity pressure was only visible when I was able to stop a bit. And this is damn another level with absolute new senses.

I am not saying, let’s just do nothing, stop all productivity although I am not against it either. But let’s take our moments to reconnect with our core selves and let this intuition guide us through where exactly we need to put our energy, flow, and grow from there. I will probably keep being curious, passionate, and driven but switching from time management to a resistant-free energy management system is a multiplier of our curiosity, creativity, and passion.

Being just a starter on the journey, I know no change is trivial and would take a lot of steps and fluctuations along the way. It will take me to recognize my daily reactions, autopilot behavioral patterns that I have adapted to in my childhood. I know my subconscious will pull me towards what is familiar. But it is the small steps that would create my new pathways.



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